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"Demented News" in Real Audio!
"Demented News" Reports in RealAudio!

UPDATED 5/12/07

Complete "Demented News" reports are STREAMING in RealAudio!
Here's an archive of requested favorites and recent reports.




THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" REPORT IS HERE!
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THE MOST REQUESTED "DEMENTED NEWS"! LISTEN!
Warning! It's a Whimsical Will tirade!!

ANOTHER RECENT "DEMENTED NEWS" LISTEN!
The oh-so-demented tale of dueling talking poo!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST LISTEN!
This one's for Roadrunner of San Diego, CA: Paramount sues author over book, "How to Have a Romantic Relationship with a 'Star Trek' Fan"; Klingon language lessons revisted; and a 9-year-old Whimsical Will voices the role of "Young Spock"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" FAVORITE! LISTEN!
Not one, but TWO (count 'em!) stories of exploding toilets and news of extended-life underwear with THREE (count 'em!) leg holes!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST! LISTEN!
Dementoid Matt requested this report from April, 1995, which features a young Whimsical Will as "Christopher Robin"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST! LISTEN!
Dementoid Deven Combs requested this report from 1998 on the changing value of pi!

REQUEST -- "ROCK RAP" LISTEN!
Okay, so it's not a "Demented News" report, but long-time Dementoid Benn Allen was kind enough to remember my "Rock Rap" from 1987 (which tells a twisted tale using more than 200 names of rock artists), so I thought I'd upload it here!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/6/07 LISTEN!
1/6/07: Dining companions on DVD for lonely people; art teacher paints with his buttocks!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/13/07 LISTEN!
1/13/07: Man accused of planting hidden camera in friend's bathroom clock radio; kilt shortage among Scottish soldiers!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/20/07 LISTEN!
1/20/07: Shoe vacuums as you walk; gadget lets us hear plants talk!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/27/07 LISTEN!
1/27/07: Man uses fireplace log as weapon; DMV employee grants applicant driver's license for removing clothes!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/3/07 LISTEN!
2/3/07: Remembering Argentina's "Mental Hospital Radio"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/10/07 LISTEN!
2/10/07: Breast-boosting beer; banana tree predicts winning lottery numbers!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/17/07 LISTEN!
2/17/07: Man uses shoe camera to film up skirts; Israeli spa offers snake massage!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/24/07 LISTEN!
2/24/07: World's most annoying sound revealed; Russia holds beauty contest to find sexiest nuclear power plant worker!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/3/07 LISTEN!
3/3/07: Dead pets turned into diamonds; hen can solve math problems!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/10/07 LISTEN!
3/10/07: Underwear draped over street signs in UK; remembering the first report on the 20th anniversary of the "Demented News"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/17/07 LISTEN!
3/17/07: Drive-through restaurant giving out costumes for cats; hugging bandit embraces New York!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/24/07 LISTEN!
3/24/07: Woman does laundry while sleepwalking; man tries to cash check signed by God!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/31/07 LISTEN!
3/31/07: Opera music to drive crime out of underground network in Vienna; family beat up school principal over relative's grade!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/7/07 LISTEN!
4/7/07: Man claims unicorn was driving car and caused crash; plastic surgeon accidentally removes half of belly dancer's buttocks!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/14/07 LISTEN!
4/14/07: Secret cameras in cans of beans to catch trash can violators; hidden camera in shampoo bottle to spy on showering roommates!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/21/07 LISTEN!
4/21/07: Speeding driver tells police he's Dick Cheney, among other notables; man keeps 80 sheep in his house!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/28/07 LISTEN!
4/28/07: Underground marijuana farm causes road collapse; man pulls van with his nose!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/5/07 LISTEN!
5/5/07: Woman sues partner over "negligent dancing"; $90,000 concert piano falls off truck!


THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/12/07 LISTEN!
5/12/07: Donkey testifies in court; human waste to be dumped in extinct volcano!



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